Saturday, January 14, 2017

The Coltranes - Everything I Dream B/W Let's Keep Our Fingers Crossed (2016)


The Coltranes come in heavy and with both feet planted in weird juju, noisy and wonky garage punk territory. Not a bad work ethic for a group of slime punks, they keep thier bandcamp nobly active with a handful of LP's, EP's, splits, etc. Better yet, nothing not worth your time.


Throw a couple bucks at these dudes if you're thoroughly inspired, you can have their whole discography for the cost of a pint, dink.

The Coltranes Bandcamp

Friday, January 6, 2017

Ljå - Til Avsky For Livet (2006)



Frostbitten black metal from Stavanger, Norway. This album becomes a decade old next month, which doesn't really matter but then again, neither do you, and neither do I. Til Avsky For Livet is the only full-length Ljå have released and may ever release for that matter as they have become about inactive as a Nun's cunt for the last 5 years.

Black metal elitists and puritans can release a collective and weighty sigh; Til Avsky For Livet follows the black metal ethos incredulously without sacrificing any ferocity or competency. The album in it's entirety is draining to listen to, through it's blistering pace it aims to sap your energy and rob you of all positivity. Winter is for black metal.

Ps; good luck snagging this on vinyl for under a $100, as expected.

Ljå - Til Avsky For Livet (Zippyshare)

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Sumac - What One Becomes (2016)


Leave your whimsy in your grandmothers panty drawer, forget about happiness, abandon all faith and hope, disregard your well-being and submit to the sonic nihilism of Sumac's What One Becomes. I'm going to compile a small best of 2016 list soon; Small because I seemingly spent more time last year listening to podcasts and old records that I simultaneously and unintentionally tossed up a big fuck you to all new releases in the process.

One thing you can count on like you can count on shit smelling foul is that What One Becomes will be on that list. Sumac improved on their debut album, The Deal in every conceivable way; They bulked up the production so when it's plodding, the air is thick and the form glacial. The drums are mixed with tact, the snare pop is mega satisfying and the cymbals are spot on in the fray, a feat studio-headphone wearing shitters tend to fail at.

In it's entirety this album is a towering monolith in the world of doom and sludge, bang on.

Doom on my Wayward sons,

What One Becomes

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Menace Ruine - Venus Armata (2014)


• † •

One hot spring, the devil arrives in Moscow, accompanied by a retinue that includes a beautiful naked witch and an immense talking black cat with a fondness for chess and vodka. After selling your soul for a quart of raw ether and a back-alley tug the devil will simply ignore your extended hand, for he will not shake against the weight of post-cum depression, and anyone, especially the devil can pick up the scent of lost cause and moral ineptitude better than anyone, anything, anyway.

Menace Ruine from Montreal, Quebec are one of those bands that harbor a soundscape I hate to try and describe, searching my dull brain for trite platitudes a hundred other bedroom bloggers have used more than their toothbrush. I'll do it anyway, and I'll hate myself today like a soul-sucking vacuum because of it.

The duo create a sound fit for cathedral ceilings and soulless robed zealots humming strange juju, the candles lit in thirteen, the virgin flayed upon the alter, in a sweat and semen soaked, surrounded haze of incense smoke bellow Geneviève's pipes sounding like the songs of sirens and carrying the same force that draws one to be hopelessly and beautifully enamored. All of this beauty cloaked in a gothic atmosphere fit for a music box that once belonged to Elizabeth Báthory and can't help but run backwards on moral premise. The drums play out like a dirge and the organs may as well be emanating out of a Transylvanian castle because everything is bleak and life sucks, right Todd?

Kudos to Chris Bruni of Profound Lore Records for taking them on and putting out the hidden gems. Today I'm going to run along the Toronto boardwalk to this, the Hour of 13 self-titled, Lunar Aurora's Andacht and Drudkh's Autumn Aurora… Do the same, or not. Gloom dopamine brothers and sisters.

Invoke; Menace Ruine - Venus Armata (bandcamp)

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Krypts - Remnants of Expansion (2016)


• † •

Krypts from Colorado have a guitar tone akin to the grimy filth in your toilet bowl and a plodding movement speed like old people fucking but it hits real heavy and the recording on the drum kicks sound like distant battles being fought. Tight artwork too.

Krypts - Remnants of Expansion (bandcamp)

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Auroch - Mute Books (2016)


Auroch are 66.6% Mitochondrion, the number of the breast. I don't know man, Mute Books is coming out in a week and it sounds like it's going to be a barn mucker.

Mute Books (pre-order/bandcamp)

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Trap Them - Crown Feral (2016)


What's the difference between a lobster with a boob job and the Manhattan bus station?

One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station. Yes. Trap Them are back and the album is better than Blissfucker and not better or worse than Darker Handcraft. They traversed weird territories on Blissfucker and that's always commendable but we didn't want that, we wanted Darker Handcraft 2.0 deluxe version with a goddamn rotten cherry on top. Crown Feral promises to be the return to form we wanted and needed, crustier than grandmothers underwear after Sunday soup. Nah.

Crown Feral (bandcamp)


(I'll throw up a temporary link in the Cbox for those that are broke but still want to be a fan)

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Fange - Purge (2016)


Fange, blackened sludge full of savagery and malcontent. These dudes wouldn't be caught dead petting kittens or shopping for produce at an organic farmers market. At least that's how I hear it... No whimsy, no charm and certainly no fucking hope. This is how I want my d-beat crust to sound; negatively charged with a cinder block on the gas pedal... If I wanted my crust any other way I'd eat a pizza.

Matthias Jungbluth (of Calvaiire and founder of Throatruiner) handles the vocals with primal bursts that take shape in shrieks, wails, yells and screams that sound more like feral wolves snarling over a fresh kill while the drums are almost smothered to death by bass noise and guitar fuzz. The last minute of the last song, Girone Della Merda sums the entire album up very well.

It's official release date is September 02 but you can get it digitally earlier, essentially for free at a 'name your price' option on bandcamp, or the gentleman fee of a couple bucks so these dudes can sleep at night knowing their loved and appreciated. Another Throatruiner release, and like the Plebeian Granstand album posted last week, it is everything this blog stands for. Dig this or dig your grave, bud.

Purge (bandcamp, name your price)